The Holy Shituation

Let’s talk shit. Literally. Of all the things I knew I would obsess over I never thought one of the top contestants would be poop. I was the avid color, amount, and consistency checker because I was told that since my baby couldn’t tell me when she wasn’t feeling good or when something was wrong with her stomach the best indicator was what we found in her diaper—and my mind took that and ran. From the first black tar shit –to the gritty, seedy orange shit– to the complete head to toe blow out shit I was always face deep in her diaper making sure she wasn’t sick or having any allergies to the things we gave her. Looking back now I realize it was a little odd—okay, it was really odd, but being a first time parent anything you would have told me I would have probably believed you.

Being that my kid is so picky and refuses to broaden her food horizon her pooping was bad- and by bad I mean there was none. Cora would go DAYS without pooping. She would get so backed up and when she finally had to poop it was so painful and traumatizing. I can’t even explain how horrible it was. We would sit on the floor and she would just scream and shake and beg us to help her and there wasn’t anything we could do. We tried EVERYTHING recommended. Fruit juices. Watch the dairy. We even did suppositories to help with the big ones that were hard to pass (which might I add was just about as traumatizing to do as I’m sure it was to receive). One of the most common suggestions was to change her diet- added more fiber-stop giving her this and sprinkle some of that. Let’s be real though—have you ever tried to force a kid to eat something out of their norm? How did it go?

That’s what I thought.

The problem became more consistent with episodes like this happening on a weekly basis and we couldn’t take it anymore. It was so heartbreaking to see her in so much pain and even when she pooped normal amounts and consistency she was so damn scared to do it because I’m sure she associated going to the bathroom with how painful it was. I googled everything and asked so many people if they encountered the same thing or if it was something we should have considered taking her in for. It was suggested to us to try a Miralax therapy. I will tell you right off the bat—if you hadn’t heard about this and your child is having the same issues ours did – I can’t recommend this enough.

One of the best things about Miralax is you can mix it with literally EVERYTHING! Ice Cream, yogurt, juice, water. Anything that your kids eat you can sneak it right in and they won’t know the difference! Just as the instructions say— age of your kid = teaspoons you give. We started Cora on the therapy shortly before her 2nd birthday so we started with 2 full teaspoons daily. To our immediate surprise after the second day we had a poop—- a lot of poop—-actually, too much poop. We dialed back and increased dosages numerous times to figure out a dosage that was just right for her and to be honest that was the only tricky thing about this entire therapy.

When we brought Cora in for her check up and explained that we started the therapy— to my relief, her PEDS was all for it. She took a huge weight off my shoulders when she told me that constipation in toddlers is normal and honestly to be expected. I did express my concern about messing up her stomach with all the dosage changes and questioned if it would become something that Cora would rely on but she assured me that letting constipation, especially to the degree we were experiencing it, would do way more damage than dosage change in Miralax PLUS it’s non addictive.


If you start a therapy like this, and if you are a parent dealing with the same shituation I hope you do. Please be prepared. Go out and buy all the diapers and all the wipes because you, my friend, will be up to your ears in shit.

Other things to note:

Just the same as other medications it takes a little time to find the right dosage and healthy balance between crapping your guts and being so backed up it literally starts coming out the top of your head like the Play Doh Hair Salon Doll. Be patient and don’t worry about causing damage.

Try not to stop too soon. For us, there were a few times where we thought things we coming out smoothly enough that we could maybe stop the therapy- so we did- and about a week or so after it happened again and unfortunately it was during Christmas with family and many got to witness the horror of the shit storm and just how bad it could be. If you test the waters to see if you are in the clear just know you can hop back on it— no harm no foul- my recommendation is to just stay consistent the full 7 months and see what happens afterwards— I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised!

I usually wouldn’t rave about something like this. I’m always skeptical about finding these types of things online because I always think people are just trying to sell something— I promise I’m making no money from Miralax. I will tell you that the episodes of constipation we went through with Cora were haunting and I know there are other parents out there that are going through the same thing and feel exactly how we did—helpless. So if this does happen to find you and you are or know someone who is going through it – one word—Miralax.

May the poop be with you.



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